Am confused...

Each country has at least one daily newspaper that might scare the hell out of its readers would the things written in it come true. Ours puts the wits of people on test on a daily basis, but its medium format is ideally suited for reading while breakfasting, that´s why hubby keeps it in addition to the "serios one". Some people even say that the only difference between the previously mentioned newspaper and toilet paper is the missing perforation. So on page three we read today: About one in two men dies of cancer before reaching old age. Uh-oh, not good, I thought, and went to page ten, where readers got a list of what to do to reach a high age: Do not drink alcohol! Do not smoke! No red meat, less fruit, or better still, vegetables only. Do sports everyday. Fight against excess of weight. Do not...Life can´t be fun like this, I thought, and turned over to page twenty: Twice as many men die of coronary heart diseases than of cancer. Come again, that´s hardly possible, we haven´t even factored in diseases, injuries and poisoning. What we do not have is enough men, or can one die of two or multiple causes simultaneously? Dear grim Reaper, could you at least spare some men until they are really, really old, because I love gramps with wrinkles?